A Little Rondesvoozes

A Little Rondesvoozes
by Faith Kelter

“I did not!”

“Yes, you did!”

Cogsworth glanced up from the books and papers on his small desk, then closed his eyes as he groaned impatiently.  All he needed now was a wall to run his head into as yet another lovers’ quarrel was about to unfold in the drama known as “Lumière and Babette.”

Rising from his chair, Cogsworth walked to the door and opened it just in time to catch them passing by.  As usual, Babette was storming along in the lead with Lumière close behind.

“Forgive the interruption,” Cogsworth called sarcastically, “but all of us have work to attend to, and that includes yourselves!  Therefore, I demand to see both of you return to it this instant, and save your nonsense for later!”

Of course, this did not stop the couple as they continued to the foyer.  Rolling his eyes, Cogsworth trailed along in exasperation, and thank goodness he did!  Just as he caught up to them, Babette was in the process of putting on her cloak, as though preparing to leave.

“Wait a minute!  Wait just one minute!” Cogsworth cried, authority taking hold of his tone.  “Where exactly do you think you are going?  You have not been excused from your duties!”

Babette turned on him, glaring daggers, and Cogsworth could not keep himself from cowering slightly.  Babette was a tall woman, and somewhat intimidating to a short man like Cogsworth.  Her slender, feminine figure was not to be underestimated.  In the angered mood that she was in, he did not doubt one bit that she could easily do him physical harm if she wanted to.

“I absolutely refuse to stay here any longer with that!” Babette exclaimed, pointing accusingly at Lumière.  “Either he goes or I go, and surely losing one of many maids will be less of a burden than losing a…a dog!”

“All right, that I resent!” Lumière replied indignantly.

“A lying, cheating dog of a man who can not keep his eyes and hands to himself!” Babette reemphasized, unaffected.

“I did not do anything with Simone!” Lumière protested.  “She came to me!”

“And apparently, you did not mind that at all.”

“I offered some attention and kind words to be polite!”

Babette crossed her arms, scowling in disbelief.  “Then tell me how her hands somehow found their way to every imaginable intimate place, obviously with the intent to enjoy herself?  Worse than that, how could you let her?  How dare you??”

Lumière’s mind raced to think of an answer, but upon finding nothing that would please her, he only smirked, attempting humor to ease her mood.  “I can not help the effect I have on women, amour; you know that all too well!”

Unfortunately, it did not work.  Her expression merely intensified, and Lumière winced before speaking again.  “Mon bijou, you have my honest word as a gentleman, much as you may not want to believe it right now.  It meant nothing, comprends?  I swear it, absolutely nothing.”  Slowly, he slipped his arms around her waist, hindered by her folded arms.  “Now, how about…we take a little walk up – “

“Please, I’m still here!” Cogsworth said, hastily making his presence known so as not to hear that suggestion.

Lumière shot him a look before continuing.  “As I was saying,” he murmured quietly for her ears only.  “You and I, we take a little walk elsewhere, preferably someplace romantic for two, and forget all about this little misunderstanding, oui?”

Before he could lean in to steal a kiss, Babette raised her hand to protect her lips from his.  Years of being passionately entangled with this man had taught her what her weaknesses were, and this was a major one.  He would not win her over so easily this time.

Lumière only stared at her blankly, then broke into a grin.  “Well, whatever the lady prefers,” he said, drawing her hand to kiss instead.

But Babette slipped it away before he could.  “It is always the same, Lumière.  You make a mistake and then try to sweet talk your way out of it, only to do it again later.  I have stood for it long enough,” she said, shaking her head.  “Not anymore.”

Pulling herself away, she tugged on the large, heavy door, and left without another word.

Cogsworth looked between Lumière and the door, stuttering as he watched the Frenchman laugh, shake his head, and walk away.

“Y-you are just…letting her walk out?” he asked fretfully, running to keep up with Lumière.  “She can’t do that!  There are rules for everything, including quitting!”

“Calm yourself, Cogsworth,” Lumière reassured, cool and collected.  “She is not quitting.  We both know that she ‘runs off’ when she is upset.”

“But she never sounded so serious before!”

Lumière sighed.  The day Cogsworth relaxed would be the day the sky would turn green, and the grass purple!  “Trust me, mon capitan, I know Babette better than anyone.  Give her an hour, and she will be back.”

On that final note, Lumière made his way to the dining room, closing the door behind him before he had to listen to any more of Cogsworth’s ramblings.  Noting the clock, he nodded, determining the time that Babette would return.  When she did, her silly mood would have subsided, allowing their romance to continue down the smoother road once more, he was sure of it.  Thus with a smile, Lumière sat down to work on the next day’s menu, not worried in the slightest.

But one hour passed, and Lumière waited…and waited…and waited.  Babette was never one to be gone this long, but perhaps she just needed more time than usual.  Indeed, that was it.  She had been very upset earlier, Lumière thought, patiently anticipating the moment when she stepped through the door.

After the second hour passed, however, he began to openly worry, pacing the length of the room before returning to the foyer.  He silently tried to put on his own cloak, but he was not quiet enough, he realized with irritation, hearing Cogsworth coming down the stairwell.

“I knew it!” he cried, but Lumière ignored him, wondering where the man had gotten his impeccable hearing from and cursing the unknown source for eternity.  “I warned you that there would be problems if you didn't go after her, but would you listen to me?  Oh, no! You were so certain she'd come back, weren't you?”  The stout man fidgeted nervously as he continued, “Losing a staff member without just cause, I’ll be a laughing stock!  What am I going to do?”

“You are not going to do anything except stay here and celebrate your victory over me,” Lumière hastily replied, attempting to pacify him long enough to get away.  “I, in the meantime, will bring her back home, yet again.  Keep the doors unlocked just a bit longer, would you?  Merci!”

Before Cogsworth could process what he had said, Lumière was gone.

ooo

This was certainly not the first time that Babette had run off, nor the first time that she had cried over Lumière’s petty misdeeds.  Wiping her eyes furiously, she scolded herself for crying at all.  When it came to Lumière, this was a routine occurrence; she truly should have been used to it by now.  But, in all honesty, whenever his eyes wandered, it pained her deeply, and she could hide the hurt under her tough, seemingly uncaring exterior for only so long.

Well, she would show him, she thought vehemently.  She would not return like a weak, little pushover and fall for his sweet nothings!  This time, he would have to crawl back to her, begging at her feet that she come home to him!  For now, she would simply enjoy herself.  Alone.  Without him.  She could have her own fun just as easily as he could!  Thus with set determination, Babette nodded, finding herself outside a local tavern.  

Opening the door, she sat at a table, ordered a drink, and surveyed the scene at hand.  Immediately, a group across the room caught her eye.  A young man standing at the center of attention as three blonde girls looked on.  Babette could not help following their lead as he flexed an extraordinary pair of strong, muscular arms.

When he sat down, one of the girls squealed, practically jumping in his lap while her two sisters caused a fuss about it.  Babette could not contain a grin.  A good-looking face always had that effect on women, herself included, but nonetheless it was amusing.

“Girls, please, there’s plenty for all,” the man laughed heartily, pulling another one of them onto his other knee and the last girl fell to his feet.  The snubbed feelings on both girls’ behalves instantly vanished and all three swooned against him.

“No one’s as generous as Gaston,” the first one purred.

“Or strong,” the next chimed in.

“Or handsome!” the last cried, not to be outdone in the eyes of their idol.

Seeing him basking in the glory, Babette snorted quietly, adding to herself, “Or modest.”

Still…she could not blame any of them.  Watching over the rim of her mug, Babette had to admit that he most certainly was gorgeous.  Stunning blue eyes, pitch-black hair that shone even in the dim lighting of the tavern.  The short sleeves of his shirt allowed only the muscles of his arms to be on bare display, but Babette could only imagine how perfectly chiseled the rest of him was.

It took him but a moment to catch her staring at him.  Returning the favor, he immediately broke into a smile at the added attention.  The kind of smile that would make any girl blush profusely…any girl maybe, but not a woman like her.  Just as self-assured as he appeared to be, Babette mirrored the expression with an odd mix of admiration and challenge.

Noticing her interest, he subtly glanced back at her while speaking to his three devotees.

“Girls, how about a real treat?” he asked, to which they eagerly nodded.  “How about I show you how strong I really am?”

“Yes!  Oh yes!  Show us!” they cried in delight, about to jump from his lap, but he held them tight.

“Stay right there,” he said before having the third girl stand and put her arms around his neck.  “Hang on tight now.”

None of them had any trouble in obeying.  The man then lifted all three of them with the greatest ease, placing them gently on a smaller table one by one.  Without hesitation, he reached for the table’s base and lifted it effortlessly many feet above the ground.  While the girls shrieked in delight and cheered, he took a moment to look back at his newest admirer, making sure she wasn’t missing the show.

Babette bit her lip to keep from giggling.  Could he possibly be any more obvious, to her at least if no one else?  Time to play, she thought.  She could definitely have some fun with this one.

Standing up from her seat, she downed whatever was left of her drink in one swallow, and smiled coquettishly at him as she started walking in his direction.  His grin broadened straight away.  But within the last remaining steps, she turned and headed for the bar to order more ale.  As she waited, she caught his look of disbelief and frustration out of the corner of her eye.  Perfect, she thought with a smile of success, tracing the patterns in the bar to appear casual.  Any second now.

Gaston was completely confused; he couldn't understand what had happened.  A beautiful new girl had shown up in the tavern. He had shown off his muscles, knowing she would swoon like all the others. Just as he expected, she'd gotten up from her seat and headed his way, smiling – but then went to the bar instead!  And now, she was just sitting there, drinking her drink, and ignoring him completely!  Him!  How could it be?

Putting the table down roughly, he headed for the bar, much to the three blondes’ dismay as they pleaded for him to stay, but he brushed them off with a curt “Later, girls.”  Babette could hardly contain a smile as she watched them pout and sulk, three little girls denied their most precious toy of affection.  Amateurs, she thought.  They had so much to learn if they truly thought fawning and begging was the way to capture a man’s attention.  Any woman could swoon and tell a man what he wanted to hear; only an expert could handle men the right way.  Her way.

Turning away momentarily to take a quick drink, Babette smirked when she looked up again to find Gaston right next to her, eyeing her appreciatively.

“You are staring, monsieur,” Babette teased playfully, though not holding back a clear view of exactly what assets he was looking at.

“Can’t help liking what I see,” he replied, a lecherous grin forming quickly.  “And I like seeing a beautiful woman.”

Babette raised a playful eyebrow.  “Moi? Monsieur is quite a sight to behold himself; being in his company, the pleasure will be all mine.”

Gaston grinned that self-assured smile instantly.  “You better believe it.”

“Well then, with such a promise as that,” Babette murmured, “I insist that monsieur join me for a drink.”

Gaston took her hand firmly, eager to bring her to a preferably private corner table, but slowly so as not to seem too eager.  “It’s all about the image,” his father had always taught him.

Babette moved her chair next to him and straightened up, shoulders back, giving him a prime view.  “Mmm, perfect,” she purred.  “Nice and cozy where two people can…get to know each other.”

“Only the best, of course,” Gaston commented, still ogling her and allowing his hand to slip around her waist.

Babette smiled, encouraging him, and giggling a bit.

“I could not help watching you before,” she said, her silky, seductive voice turning on the charm.  The bait had been taken, and now it was time to reel him in.  “Lifting that heavy table with those three girls on it, c’est incroyable!”

Gaston held up his arm proudly, flexing it to show her his muscle up close.  “That was nothing!” he said.  “I could juggle three – no four of those kegs if I wanted to!”

Babette lightly touched his arm, caressing it tenderly as she moved closer to his ear.  “Indeed, you must be a man of many…talents, oui?” she whispered, winking coyly at him when she pulled away.

“Oh sure,” he said with a dismissive wave.  “Name anything!  I can do it, and better than any guy in this town!  Fighting, archery, and hunting too!  Shot a 200 pound stag, no closer than ninety yards, when I was only eleven, and even brought down a bear.”

Babette stared at him blankly before nodding with an appeasing smile.  Innuendo obviously was not going to help her with this boy; blunt would have to do.

Taking his flexed arm, she drew it around her waist in a coaxing manner.  “Very impressive,” she said softly, her lips mere inches from his.  “But…I mean, true physical talent, as in knowing how to act with a woman.”  She pressed closer, if that were possible.  “A real woman.”

With a bold grin, he said, “A real woman needs a real man, and that’s me.”

As he leaned in, however, his obvious intent to claim a kiss, Babette immediately put her finger to his lips to stop him.

“Ah ah, not so fast,” she said, reaching for her mug.  “No need to rush when slower is sweeter.”  Pouting adorably, she held out the mug to him.  “Another drink first, s’il vous plait?”

Seeing his apparent frustration as he snatched the mug and walked to the bar, Babette congratulated herself on stopping things before they went too far.  So many years, and she was still the best at leaving a man wanting more than she intended to give.  She didn't really intend to cheat on Lumière; she just wanted a bit of revenge, and to prove that other men were more than eager to appreciate her if he did not.

“Going a bit younger than usual, but I am not surprised whatsoever to find you here.”

Speak of the devil.  Babette whirled around in her seat, angered upon finding Lumière in the vacated chair.

“Nor I you,” she countered.  “But the effort was pointless.  I do not need you to watch over me.  Go home.”

“I had every intention of doing so,” he said, holding out his hand to her.  “Shall we?”

Babette stared blankly at his hand.  “I am not going with you.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I most certainly am not.”

Lumière sighed, exasperated.  “Babette, please, do not be unreasonable.”

“Moi?  I am being unreasonable?” Babette scoffed.

“Right now, I assure you that I am the most reasonable between the two of us,” Lumière hissed.  “I am not the one who ran off looking for trouble.”

“No, you saved yourself a ride by finding it at home earlier,” Babette retaliated sarcastically.  “It is your fault that I am here in the first place; you have no one to blame for this but yourself.”

Lumière was about to respond when her gentleman friend returned, if one could even call the boy a gentleman.

“You’re in my chair,” he growled, eyeing Lumière threateningly.  “Get out.  Now.”

Lumière stood, prepared to defend himself, but stopped when he realized just how intimidating the boy’s height truly was, alarmingly so for a lad who could not have been any more than seventeen years old.

Lumière glanced at Babette again, but she beat him to speaking.

“Go home, Lumière,” she ordered, taking Gaston’s hand and placing it on her shoulder spitefully.  “There is no reason for you to stay.”

Gaston tightened his grip a bit, possessive once again, especially around a possible opponent…as if anyone would be stupid enough to challenge him, he thought with a smirk.  “You heard her; get lost.”

Lumière glared at the both of them, backing away slowly to take another.  There was no way he would simply leave with this going on.  He tried to keep his watch unnoticeable, but must have failed.  Staring right at him, Babette slid onto Gaston’s lap, taunting Lumière with a grand show of affection.  The only thing keeping Lumière from a drink or two was the strong need to protect her.  Tempting as it was, being drunk was far from a good idea at present.

Back at her table, Babette did indeed do her utmost best to be sure that Lumière saw her every move.  He had hurt her, and she deeply believed in not only getting mad, but also getting even.  This would show him that the game was a double-sided sword.

In the middle of it all, Gaston didn’t know how much more he could take.  Who was this girl – no, woman?  He had been born and raised in this village and not once had he found a woman this mysterious and exciting!  She didn’t faint or squeal at his every move; she knew how to act when this close to a man.  He knew that she wanted him, but all she continued doing was playing a tough game of Hard-To-Get.  

He must’ve tried what felt like a million times more to kiss her, to show her what she was missing.  But with his every try, she found a new excuse to stop him.  That’s it, he thought finally, no more being turned down.  He was Gaston; no woman said no to him.  Ever.  Right now, she was his, and she would do as he wanted.  He had played her games long enough; now it was his turn.

Roughly, he pulled her tightly against him, greedily pressing his lips to hers.  At first, Babette began to struggle, but the thought of Lumière seeing this crushed any hesitation.  With that thought in mind, she matched Gaston’s intense need, raising the passion gradually.

Lumière had to grip the table, but even that did not stop him from rising out of the chair.  Years ago, the first time he had followed her, he had had no romantic claim over this woman, but it had still upset him to see her wrapped in another man’s arms.  One who did not care about her like he did.  But now after falling for her, loving her with all his heart, the sight was eating away at him, slowly and painfully.

It would serve her right if he were to just leave her there and then, and part of him even considered the idea.  But upon hearing the first sign of protest from her, the better half forced him to stay.

Unable to contain himself, Gaston had reached beneath Babette’s skirt, causing her to quickly pull away with apprehension.

“What are you doing?” she asked, alarmed.

“Only making things more fun,” he answered, trying to continue feeling the soft skin of her thigh.

Babette gripped his hand tightly.  This was going farther than she had intended.  “Stop that.  Now.”

Gaston grinned, amused.  “You sure do like to tease, don’t you?” he laughed, drawing her close again.  “Now come on, be a good girl.”

He kissed her again, more dominantly.  Panicking, Babette shoved him away, jumping from his lap.  “I said stop it!” she cried.

Furious now, Gaston stood up, towering over her, and grasped her painfully by the shoulders.  “No one says ‘Stop’ to Gaston,” he snarled.  “Enough with the games; let’s do this already!”

Lumière threw back his chair so forcefully that it fell with a crash.  What may have been an intimidating brute earlier was now a danger about to harm his precious Babette.

Stepping forward, his bravery at its highest point, he demanded, “She told you to stop; now let her go.”  Gaston waved away the annoying pest without a second thought, but Lumière persisted.  “I said let her go, you insufferable ruffian!”

Gaston now turned on him, staring down at him with a deadly scowl.  “What did you call me?”

Lumière did not even flinch.  “A ruffian, a brute, a cad.”

“Take that back!” Gaston snapped, his hand clenching into a fist.

“I do not take back the truth!”

Wasting neither time nor thought, Gaston threw a solid punch. His mighty fist connected with Lumière’s eye with an audible 'smack'. Stunned, the maitre'd crumpled to the ground.  

In an flash, Babette flew to her lover’s side, much to Gaston’s complete confusion.  Everything forgotten for the moment, she patted the stunned Lumière’s cheek.

“Lumière?  Mon cher, are you all right?” she asked over and over, not stopping until he woozily sat up.

“W-what?  What happened?”  Looking up at Gaston, however, Lumière tried to stand up, but managed only with Babette’s support.  With her holding him upright, Lumière slurred, “Tha’ was a very good shot…but now it is my turn!”

The crowd that had begun to watch laughed heartily, led by Gaston, as Lumière took a shaky, horribly aimed swing.  When Gaston easily stepped away, Lumière fell right back to the ground.  

Forgetting her own fear in her outrage at seeing her beloved Lumière hurt, Babette shouted, “You big bully!”  Racing to Gaston, she hit him repeatedly in the chest, though she might as well have been hitting a brick wall.  It did nothing except make the crowd laugh harder

“Ow, see what you have made me do!” she cried as she cradled her hand in pain.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Lumière muttered sarcastically.  “A small bruise on the fist.”

Babette glared at him.  “Well it hurts!”

“And this does not?” he asked, weakly pointing to his eye.

Gaston shook his head in complete confusion at Babette’s mood swings.  This girl was clearly crazy, he thought. And that skinny weakling was too – he had to be crazy to challenge Gaston!  "You both belong in the Maison des Lunes," he said in disgust, returning to the triplets, who were only too happy to have him back.

"You were so brave, Gaston!" they cooed.

“And they can keep him,” Babette said under her breath.  Helping Lumière stand and holding him close, she walked with him to the door.  “Come, mon amour; there is no reason to stay here any longer than we have to.”

“I could have taught him a lesson, really,” Lumière muttered shakily, still unsteady on his feet once they were outside.  “If I had a bit more time…”

“He would have killed you,” Babette concluded, using all of her strength to hold him up when his legs nearly gave way.  She sighed sympathetically; he was in no condition to walk yet.  “Lumière, you have to sit down.”

“I do not,” he protested, much like a child who refuses to go to bed.  But after another moment of weakness, he agreed.  “Très bien, just for a second.”

Babette looked around quickly, and saw a fountain nearby.  Heading in its direction, she first helped him sit before doing so herself.

“How bad is it?” Lumière asked ruefully, knowing full well what the answer would be.  Nonetheless he waited patiently as Babette examined his eye closely.

“Right now, it is definitely bruised,” she said.  “But judging by how hard he hit you, it will be a lot worse in the morning.”

Lumière nodded.  “Guess I deserved it,” he said lightly, pausing before looking at her expectantly.  “I said, I guess I deserved it.”  Still nothing.  “This is the part where you are supposed to disagree, petite.”

“Non, you are right, keep going,” she said nonchalantly.

“I defend you and this is your gratitude?” he asked, clearly hurt more by her untouched tone than by Gaston’s fist.  “I deserved to be hit because I dared to stand up to a brute like that?”

“You deserved to be hit because of what happened earlier with Simone,” Babette corrected.  “He merely saved me the trouble.”

Lumière frowned.  First loving concern and now the return of disdain; one of these days, this woman would pick a mood and stay with it for longer than a meager few minutes.

Then again, maybe she was right, at least a little.

“Touché,” he grumbled, looking like a kicked dog.

Babette sighed.  She could never stay mad at him, especially now after what he had done for her.  Once again, she had gotten into more trouble than she could handle, and he had come to her aid despite their previous argument.  Mistakes or not, he truly did care about her deeply.

“All right,” she said quietly.  “Considering everything that just occurred, I suppose I can forgive you, just a tiny bit.”

Lumière smiled gently, seeing her do the same.  Pulling her close, he kissed her forehead tenderly.  “I know I upset you earlier, and I am very, very sorry.  I mean that with all my heart.”

Babette nodded, snuggling into his embrace.  “I am too.  I have to find a better place to go when I need to be alone.  We can not have you getting hurt each time I run off; someone may break you in half one day.”

Lumière laughed softly.  “Anything is worth the trouble for you, ma chérie.”

Babette grinned, kissing his swelling eye gently and breaking into her flirtatious smirk.  “I must say, it was very brave of you, mon cher, to defend my honor like that.  Very heroic, and a hero should always be…rewarded.”

Lumière raised a curious eyebrow, reflecting her smirk perfectly.  “That is very true,” he agreed.  “What did my lady fair have in mind?”

Babette’s smile broadened.  “First, we get your badge of courage there healed,” she laughed, indicating his eye, and then continued in a provocative murmur.  “Because…you will want to see everything I have in mind for you.”

“In that case, I think I may be feeling better already,” Lumière replied huskily, at last claiming the kiss that he had been hungering for all night.

Babette gasped, nearly swooning as he made his way from her lips to her soft neck.  “Oh Lumière…easy, mon amour.  Home first, and then passion, I promise.”

Lumière unwillingly pried himself away and genuinely smiled.  “As you wish, mon bijou.”

Babette gave him one last kiss – a chaste, sweet peck – and then stood up ready to help him.  “Shall we try walking again?”

Lumière nodded, though feigned a bit of uneasiness so that she would hold him close.  Babette shook her head knowingly, giggling as she went along with his game.  After all he had done to redeem himself, it was the least she could do to humor him till they were home once more.

The End